Thursday, June 4, 2015

The Magnificent Month of May

Every year, the month of May is a doosie! It is so jammed packed that it is hard to enjoy what's going on. The week before my birthday, I went to a New Kids On the Block concert with my friend Erin. NKTOB was huge when I was a kid. I thought it was hilarious that I was going to one of their as a 38 year old. It was super fun! Nelly opened for them as well as TLC. It was like going back in time. It was also hilarious to see these once teenage heart throbs turned "old dudes". They were all in their mid 40's still doing boy band choreography and dancing with their shirts off. 

My birthday was great! I've decided that I am done thinking that I am old. I never wanted people to know how old I was but really 38 isn't old. I feel great and I feel young and I have lots of energy and life in me that that is really all that should matter.

started with a breakfast with friends, went to the temple, went to lunch with Ben and then I went to a mother/daughter activity with mia and CJ.  It was a non tea hat party. We all wore our fanciest hats and mia got to decorate her own and walk down the catwalk. They also sang happy birthday to me and I danced around like a crazy lady.

I also got a firepit for my Mother's Day/birthday gift. We've already cooked lots of snores already.

I'm the third year girl's camp leader this year and so I'm in charge of doing pre-hikes and organizing everything. It's been tough and a little stressful because I really don't feel like I know what I am doing. I'm sure everything will turn out fine in the end.

I went on my last kindergarten field trip with Zoey to Smith Family Farm. It's crazy to think that my baby is 5 almost 6.  I'm going to miss out time together and just hanging out with her. With Zoey there are a lot of "lasts". I'm going to try and enjoy every moment.

We got a new kitten that the kids named, Willow. She's a cute little kitten who is so energetic, playful and cuddly. Ben and the kids are so happy to finally have a kitten.  I kinda like her too.

We finally went on another family bike ride. It's been since January since we've been on one because I was sick for months and then I had surgery.  We went on the iron horse trail. I love spending time with my family! Xander was so cute thanking Ben and I more than once and saying it was the best day.

Our first trip to the beach was at Muir beach. It's a windy beach but it was a great day. It was a family beach day with the youth and kids. 

Ben and I went to the "Inside Out" wrap party. It was super fun and we stayed until 1:30 am. We are party animals! They had great food like always and a fun scavenger hunt and dancing. I hugged my first actor. I was disappointed that he felt like any other human being.  I was hoping for confetti or a spot light when I hugged him. Just kidding. His name is Richard kind and he is the voice for Bing Bong.  Ben and I had a great time hanging out with his friends.

Mia and Zoey were in the school talent show. Mia did a dance with her friend Brooke and Zoey did a magic trick with Isaac. I also helped with the talent show but wasn't in charge. That was nice.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Hurry before April is over!

That is what I'm thinking. . . "I'd better hurry and write a blog post before April is over!" 2015 has been flying by! Seriously, as I get older, I've realized time waits for no one. It goes by so fast and I feel like I'm scrambling sometimes just to savor every day moments.  Sometimes I'll just stare at my baby, who is now 5, hoping to soak her in permanently just the way she is at that very moment.  There are times I wish I could go back in time for just a day when my kids were babies. I never enjoyed them the way I would right now. Back then, it was all about survival and right now it's all about savoring precious moments. Not the figurines. That's crazy!

By the way.  .  .here are some moments I want to remember.

Mia, Xander and Zoey each placed in the school science fair. Ben worked extremely hard with each of the kids on their science fair projects. When I say he worked extremely hard, that's an understatement. Ben goes above and beyond when it is something he is interested in and science is one of those things. Sometimes I wonder what it would take to implant a love for say, yard work or house cleaning and chores???

Mia went to districts with her science fair project. She has gone every year possible! That girl rocks! 

And if the school science fair wasn't enough, bring on "playing science fair" at home. The kids made a bunch of pretend science fair projects. My favorite," do IPODS make you zombified?"

Mia had a daddy daughter 50's themed date. Her activity day leaders helped the girls make poodle skirts. And Ben wore my letterman jacket which I think is hilarious! I remember when I was younger having a daddy daughter date. It was a great memory and the fact that I still remember it is amazing. I have the worst memory!

Other random moments of happiness. . .

What Zoey looks like when she is the chairman for family home evening.

What Zoey is writing these days.

Field trip to the reservoir with Xander. I had to take a nap afterwards, I was so tired!!

Some creations created by our family include, beautiful updos, a sword holder, a giant clock, a quilt, a fondant cake, a brush that draws blood, a shed. . .

I think every family has "that something" that they do. Some families are a sports family or a dance family or a traveling to places family. In our family, we create things and do art. I've also decided that "that something" is usually something that the parents enjoy doing. Parents are selfish in that way. Naw, not really selfish but it's easy to do something you enjoy and your kids are the recipients.

After a 2 years absence from team sports, Mia made her debut back with spring soccer. Since being diagnosed with anxiety (thanks mostly to Ben and my chemical imbalances I'm sure), Mia has not been in sports because it causes too much anxiety for her which is sad because she loves sports and is really good at it. We decided that she was doing good enough and has gotten more control to try a sport. Her coach is the best! He is really kind and patient with her. And Mia is a natural! She scored the first goals at the first and second game.  I think this is a good experience for her. She is learning how to deal with her anxiety and is coming out on top!

Mia is also taking piano lessons. She had her first piano recital and once again, triumphed over her anxiety!

CJ is growing up too fast! She is a big sister at camp which means she helps plan camp and is a leader in one of the levels. She is going second year this year. She has so many talents that she doesn't even realize and I can see her finally using them for the benefit of others. I think that when you use your talents for yourself and yourself alone, your talents are halted and do not grow as they would if used for others.  I have seen in my own life, how my talents have grown when I use them to serve and help others.  CJ is a natural leader.  The girls naturally look up to her and want to follow her.  I love seeing her talents being used for good.  She is also taking drivers Ed-scary but true!! And I'm sure she is looking forward to DATING-also scary!  

WARNING the next part is not G rated. . .

Since we are talking about scary things, let's talk about boobs! More specifically. . . my boobs! Am I going to post a picture? Uh that's "epropriate" (pronounced with a long e) Zoey would say. Which the cutest things Zoey says are words with the wrong vowels. Sorry grammar nazis of the world, I don't even correct her because it is too cute! My favorite thing she says, "look uhind you" . Translation, "look behind you." 

Back to me. This is my bra and those are mia and Xander's heads. This is proof that I have gigantic breasts. Most people wouldn't consider me big breasted. That's because I am a pro at hunching, I wear bigger shirts and a minimizer. Since highschool, I have been what some women call "blessed". If "blessed" means having boys and men stare at my chest making me feel uncomfortable or having to wear more than one bra while playing sports or struggling to find clothes that fit me, that's messed up! A side joke I had in highschool was that when a boy would talk to me and not give me eye contact because he is literally talking to my chest, I wanted to grab my boobs and shake them while saying,"and they talk too!" I may have really done that in real life but I can't remember. On my basketball team my teammates voted that I had the best body. I was like, "What? That can't be right. Have they seen my legs? They are all scarred up?" Then it dawned on me later, it was because of my boobs!

Flash forward to adulthood. Still wearing two bras to workout in, I hate shopping for clothes and now my back hurts every now and then.  Then the babies come. I can't breastfeed. My breast don't produce enough milk.  My breasts are literally useless. I hate them. I really do. And what do they do to spite me? They just get bigger with each pregnancy. And then I hate them more.

Later in my 30's I find a sporting store that sells sports bra for endowed women. I was so excited that I didn't have to wear more than one bra while exercising. The cost? Around $70! And let's talk about bathing suits. I could never find one that fit my bottom and top at the same time. After searching on the Internet, I found a bathing suit top with a bra inside to help with support. The cost? $50 and that was just the top. 

You know that saying in kindergarten? "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit?" Well that's what I think. For years, I just dealt with what I had. That is until I started having back pain ALL DAY EVERYDAY. First, I thought, it must because I'm getting older. Then I asked my 70 year old mother if she has back pain everyday. Her reply was "No." That was when I decided to do something about it.

It actually took me over a year to get the courage to go talk to my doctor and start the process.  I don't know exactly why. I think I was a little embarrassed. I mean, who in this world wants smaller breasts? And I don't agree with all the plastic surgery that people get. One I started the process, there was no going back due to the fact that I became totally committed and driven. There was no stopping me. 

Well there was one thing that tried to stop me. A mess up with documentation with the insurance company made a mess that I had to sort out. I was in tears by the end. It was so stressful. 

Finally it all worked out and the breast reduction was happening! I am not kidding you I looked at boobs non stop for a month. Wondering, what size do I want to be?? I think I would have been completely satisfied with man boobs. Mine have been a heavy burden in more ways than one.  I would have loved to be flat!!

The surgery went well, but I was very disappointed afterwards. I still felt big and heavy. I had doubts if what I did was the right thing. I cried. I was mad at myself for not liking myself.

It's been almost 6 weeks and the swelling has gone down. Thankfully. At the beginning, I had no idea that I would be really swollen for a long time. I wanted instant results. That was not realistic. 

Conclusion. I am so glad that I had this surgery. This is going to give me relief and a better quality of life. Will I ever love my boobs? The answer is "Probably not". But I "like" them better each day. 

On a different note but still somewhat related. I was so blessed to have so many people help me out. I'm serious, what do people who are not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when things like this happen? In our church we have a great network of "instant" friends. On top of that, my mother and MIL both came out helping me and my family so much! I only have a picture of my MIL because when my Mom came, I wasn't feeling that great. But know, I appreciate her so much! 

So thus ends my boob saga. I hope to never, in the rest of my life, spend time thinking about my boobs.

And I don't care if people disagree. I still think boobs are overrated!

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Another Month Bites the Dust

It's amazing how time flies! I can't believe it is halfway through February all ready. January just flew by so quickly. We began the year with a trip to Disneyland. It was a great time of the year and I took the 3 younger ones out of school. CJ already had the time off from school. I let CJ take a friend and she chose Taylor.  I'm glad she chose Taylor. Taylor loved the little kids and was fun to be with. We stayed in a nice hotel, which was 100 times better than the last one. The only unfortunate thing about this trip was that I was sick the whole time. I actually got sick a week before and was feeling better than the first week, which was good but it still wasn't a ton better.  Luckily, I made it though and was glad I came. I was tempted to stay at home and let Ben take the kids-that's how bad I was feeling. All in all, a good trip.

The next exciting thing was that Ben and I celebrated our 13th anniversary by going ziplining. It was super fun and something I've never really tried. Especially, on this scale. We were ziplining from tree to tree never touching the ground until the very end. It was a fun experience and I would totally do it again!

This year is the "Year of the Bike Ride", we will be heading on adventures on the trails. I got a new mountain bike which I am so excited about. I even recently went mountain biking on some super muddy trails. So messy but really fun!

We have been super blessed with great weather along with some good rainy days. California weather is awesome!