CJ

CJ has been keeping busy with school and young women's these days. She has played on the YW basketball and volleyball teams which has been wonderful for her.

She started out not sure whether or not she liked basketball. It was hard. But she kept going to the practices and learned how to play and in the end, really enjoyed it.

Volleyball was fun too! Same thing as basketball, she wasn't liking it as much at the beginning because she didn't know how to play. By the end, her serves were going over and she has some strong returns.

I got to help coach both basketball and volleyball for the Young Women. At the beginning, it was hard to watch a game and see anyone else but CJ. I kept yelling things just for her and then had to tell myself, that I am coaching and have all the girls to cheer on. I can see how coaching your own child is tricky.

I can't tell you how grateful I am for the Young Women program. As a parent, it is priceless to have leaders reinforce same standards and morals because at this age, your kids don't listen to you or think you know what you are talking about. But when another adult says the same thing, they think it is golden advice.

I am also so grateful for the activities that the youth program offers. We haven't let CJ go to the dances in middle school, because I hear they are pretty bad. She was able to go to a Stake Valentine's Dance not too long ago and loved it. They invite the 12 year olds once a year to a stake dance here. I keep telling CJ that when she turns 14, the stake and multi-stake dances are better than the school ones.

I love the Personal progress program which teaches CJ to set goals and achieve them. It encourages high standards and morals.

We measured CJ the other day and she is 5' 4 3/4" which is only a 1/4" away from me! She seems taller than me most of the time because she is skinnier and when she has shoes on she towers over me. I also think she looks older than 12. I keep telling her to enjoy being a kid, but she insists that she is not a "kid". I tell her she will always be my child.

CJ is a great babysitter and this past weekend, made $80! She babysat 3 times! She has saved her money and bought herself a used IPOD touch which is her new prize possession. I think that seeing her cousins and friends have one of their own, made her want one even more. The IPOD touch has been an awesome incentive to do well in school. Unfortunately, the "getting into college one day because of your good grades" reminders aren't very effective at this point in her life. It's hard for her to see the big picture.

I see CJ progressing in all aspects of her life and couldn't be more prouder of her. I used to worry more about CJ because for some reason I thought, what if she inherits tendencies from her biological mom? I'm not so worried anymore.

CJ was made to do good things! I'm so happy she is part of our family!

Winning!

With each contest, Ben and I have tried to prepare Mia if she loses, which we always tell her there is a good chance, because there are so many people who enter. Mia struggles with defeat. She hates losing. At home, it is very difficult to play a game with her because she is so competitive and always wants to win.

There's lots of tears and a lot of frustration from everyone.

We went to Xander and Mia's Science Fair last night and Mia scored 2nd place again! I kept telling myself that it would be good if Mia didn't win again. Other kids should have the opportunity and Mia could learn how to deal with not winning.

But when the moment came, in my heart I was cheering her on and hoping she would win. I think that as a parent, we should be cheering our children on and not hoping that they will lose so they can become humble and learn how to deal with defeat. There will be plenty of opportunities in life to do that.

I've decided that I am past the part where I prepare Mia for a loss. I'm just going to enjoy in this girl's achievements and when a loss comes, then we will help Mia deal with it.

And then there is Xander.

Mr. Shy boy.

Each student has to present their project to the judges and explain what they did. Since Xander can be super shy at times, I thought he was going to bomb the presentation.

I was volunteering in the class when he left to go present his science project. When he came back he looked calm and happy. I asked him how it went and he said very cool, "Good."

And that was that.

So each grade level came up on the stage when it was time to present the awards. When Xander gets shy, he makes these weird faces where he sticks his tongue out on the side and then he hunches over like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

That's what he did when they called his name for "Honorable Mention".

If his expressions had words, they would say things like, "What? Did you call my name?" , "I have no idea what you are talking about." , and "I'm so clueless as to what is happening this very moment."

Both Mia and Xander owe their Dad lots of hugs for doing both projects with them. I told Ben that it was his job to do the Science projects because, #1 he is better when it comes to science and #2 I did the Reflections contest with them #3 he is better.

It was a ton of work and Ben was a champ helping both the kids. They love doing projects with their Dad. One thing we have learned, having two kids doing the same projects is definitely double duty. I told Ben to just wait until we have 3 kids in elementary!

It was worth it though seeing our kid's get excited about their accomplishments!

This girl. . .

This girl is sweet. She is like a warm ray of sunshine. You can always catch her with a smile on her face. When I'm gone, she welcomes me home with a hug and an, "I love you." and "I missed you."

This girl always has food on her face. You can find her most days in the cupboards and refridgerator looking for something to munch on. Even with locks and duct tape, she can still find her way in or know just the right moment when I forget to lock the fridge. She is like Hansel and Gretel when they leave a trail of bread crumbs. That's how I know where she's been.

This girl is becoming potty trained. When we got back from Utah, I decided she was ready to start the potty training. After a week, she had gotten the hang of it. She wears panties all day! Her potty training is not a 100% but she is getting there.

This girl likes to play. She loves playing games with her family. She is starting to play independently and it is entertaining for me to watch her use her imagination. I'll see her make a picnic for her stuffed animal friends or take care of her "Toy Story" babies (Woody, Jess, Buzz and Bullseye). I'm always amazed at how motherly little girls are naturally.

This girl loves to read and be read to. She'll bring a book to me and say, "Read me?" I'll read her a book and then she'll read me one. When she reads it, it is all jibberish, but it is so fun to hear her. She's got the intonation down.

This girl loves to sing and dance. She will ask me, "Play Just Dance?" She loves singing, "Sunbeam" and can't sit still while singing it. She'll grab Mia, who is her dance partner and hold her hands and dance in a circle. The newest song is, "Popcorn Popping". She doesn't know all of the words, but she does the actions and it is so cute.

This girl is super active and busy. Zoey is on the go, always. She bounces, literally, from one thing to the next. I think she is coming out of her "must destroy or take apart" stage which is somewhat of a relief to me.

This girl is also funny.

inquisitive. . .

and likes to do art. . .

Our family is complete with THIS GIRL!

Family Goals

Each year, we set goals as a family and individually. This year, we chose 3 to work on.

Our first goal is to memorize a scripture each month. I was trying to think of where I could post the scripture and I came up with this idea. . .

Each month, I will print out the scripture and put it in the frame. It's in a great location in our living room where everyone passes through or hangs out. We also repeat it after scripture study.

Today in church, CJ told me that someone quoted our monthly scripture and recited it incorrectly. She knew it because she had already memorized it!

Our next goal is to visit a museum each month. This year is the "Year of the Museums". If you are a member of the local library here, you can go online and print off free or discounted passes to museums in the bay area. There are of course, only certain days in which the discounted or free passes work, but there are so many to choose from, that we will be able to find something.

Also, many of the museums, have a free day like the first Wednesday of each month. I'll be on the lookout for deals like these because it can get pretty pricey when you take your whole family to the museum!

Our last goal we set is to "Think of Others". The kids are quarreling more these days and we thought that by setting this goal, it will help lesson the tension and hopefully strengthen our relationships. It will also be good for Ben and I to focus on this. There are many times during the day, where I just want to complete something for me and many times I push aside the child who is pleading with me to stop and play with them, because I just want to get what I am working on finished.

I've also been thinking about the love languages. While I was visiting teaching, the books on love languages was brought up. To me, it makes perfect sense that there are different ways in which people communicate their love. Some show it through actions, words, touches, and even gift giving.

And since we each communicate in a different way it is important to know how your loved ones communicate. I want to show my family that I love them in the way that they understand. I also want to be able to communicate better with them and learn to understand them better when they come to me with their frustrations.

I love setting goals and I hope that my children will too and that it will become a habit in their life. I hope that they will see the benefits that come from setting goals and be proud when they accomplish them. And most importantly, that goal setting is a positive way to make ourselves better.

Mia goes to State!

Mia's photography entry titled, "Color of Us" went to the District level for the Reflection Contest. Yesterday we arrived late because we thought it was a open house where we got to view the pieces that were chosen.

What we didn't know was that it was an award's ceremony and they announced names and the child got to go on the stage and receive an award. We barely made it in time before the ceremony was over and even though they already announced Mia's category, they arranged it so she could have her name announced and receive her award.

She was so elated! We found out that her entry will also be moving onto the state level!!

I couldn't be prouder of this girl! Mia is self driven and knows what she wants. She knew from the beginning that she wanted to do Photography and that she wanted to do something with color. Then, she was so clever to title her piece, "Color of Us". In essence, her description described that there are many different colors of people in this world and that we are all special. I'm sure that won the hearts of the Californian judges who bask in this state's diversity!

Go Mia!

Finding out about myself. . .

When my parents came to visit me for Christmas my Mom brought me some things that she had from Michigan. She gave me a file from what I gather are documents and notes gathered from the social worker.

I found it so fascinating as I scrolled over these notes and tried to imagine myself as this 1 1/2 year old. Here are some interesting facts that I learned about myself and some things that are still true to this day.

I was admitted to Holt (the adoption agency) on December 21, 1978. That means I was probably about a year and a half when I was abandoned. They recorded that my weight and height exceeds average age level.

This is probably because in the notes before it talks about how I have a really good appetite and that I'm not particular when it comes to food, which is still true today. I'll eat anything!

I was shy around strangers but warmed up to people I saw more often. I was placed in a foster home with a family that had 3 boys ages 8, 10, and 12. It says that they loved me and took good care of me.

I also preferred boys better. Which is true even today. I'm not a super tom boy, but I have always gotten along with the boys and hung out with them. Sometimes I will find with friends that I enjoy talking to the husband more than the wife.

This next thing surprised me. They said I was mischievous and does errands in the room. My mother told me that I could keep myself entertained and play quietly.

They also said that I spoke many words and understands well. Not always saying real words, but I said, "um-ma" for mama, "ab-ba" for papa, and "neh" for yes. I think "neh" is actually Korean. I don't know about the other words.

Their last notes were, "Soo Ah (that was my Korean name) is physically healthy and sound, and is developing well. She is cute and lovely looking little girl ready for adoption."

This is a picture of me of what I looked like on my flight to the United States. I call this my refugee picture.

I analyze many things. One thing that I analyze quite often is what attributes did I get from my birth parent and which ones from my adoptive parents. I probably think about this more than I should. I think that it is just on my mind because I'm trying to figure out myself.

This is what I have concluded. I think that I have attributes and behaviors that are due to genetics and I also have behaviors that stem from the environment I grew up in. But I also think that some things about myself are just who I am and that no matter where or who raised me, I would still have the same qualities.

It's a testimony to me that we existed before this life and that we will exist again after this life.

Another thing that I have a testimony of is priesthood blessings, that the priesthood holder giving the blessing is the mouthpiece. That the words spoken are from our Heavenly Father. In the folder I also found the words from my name and blessing that was given to me.

As I read over the words, it felt familiar. It felt like my patriarchal blessing. It's my Heavenly Father speaking to me in a way, that there is no doubt that he knows me. That I am special to him. That I am important.

Some people who are adopted struggle with the "unknown". I have never been one that has struggled. I've never wondered "why' and "what if". I've always been so grateful to have the life that I have and even with this little bit of information that I have received, I don't feel any different.

I also know that in the next life, I will get to meet my birth parents. And you know, the first thing I will say is, "Thank you for giving me a better life!" and I will embrace them.

I think my Mom and Dad so extraordinary to have adopted 5 children and given each one of them a better life! I will be forever grateful.

(This is a picture that was taken of me when I became a citizen of the United States. I was in 5th grade. It took so long because my birthdate was incorrect on my birth certificate.)

Porter Utah Tour 2011

Our friends in Utah call our visits, "The Porter Utah Tour". Makes us feel like movie stars. We left for Utah, 9 p.m. Monday, the day after Christmas. We arrived around 8:30 a.m. in Utah after driving straight through the night. I don't think I ever caught up on sleep the entire time!

Porters don't just sit.

They move.

Even if it is just moving our mouths-we move.

Moving our feet.

My favorite move was when Andy, who was on the ground on her back, took the ball in between her legs and flung it in the opposite direction. Wish I had a picture of that!

Moving our bodies.

Hannah and Abby are awesome when doing charades. Abby acts out inside stories and Hannah gives dialogue to every ones actions. The best part is that they always guess the right thing no matter how "out there" the word is. I want them on my team!

Mouths move (but not lips).

Ben cannot do this game without drooling. Next time, I would suggest a cup maybe to catch the drool?

Dance moves.

Who knew we would have so much fun with this? The girl cousins were so cute dancing-why didn't I get a picture? Abby and Kam are superior dancers and Mom and Dad busted it pretty hard too-future dance off?

Moving with Trax to Temple Square.

We visited the museum on temple square which had a Book of Mormon kids exhibit. It was alot of fun and they had many activities for the kids to do like helping Nephi build the boat, planting food, and learning how to do some mexican dances.

Ringing in the New Year!

We got to ring the New Year with Ben's family! This was my favorite trip to Utah and I don't know why, they are all super fun, but this one I just loved. We visited all of Ben's Utah sibling's homes, visited with Grandma/pa Porter (whose Christmas gift of homemade fleece blankets were super loved the whole trip), Ben made his famous pizza, made trips to DI and pawn shops, listen to Caleb sing and play his ukulele (oh yes Caleb, I heard you when you thought no one was listening! ha! ha!0, and just hung out.

The kids loved making the polymer clay boxes with Grandma. Mia told me it was her favorite thing about the trip. CJ loved making the quilt wall hanging. Xander loved the I-Pad. And Zoey loved her cousins or "my cousins" as she says it.

Can't wait for the "Porter Reunion"!!