My Scars

This is what I looked like on the Fourth of July. Within minutes upon arriving in the Marin Headlands to hang out with some friends, I tripped over a horseshoe pole while catching a frizbee and tore up my leg. It didn't even hurt, and felt more like a scratch. In fact, I didn't even look at it and continued to play. When I decided to look at my leg, I was surprised to see my flesh hanging out.

Literally.

I've never cut myself so deep that I could see the flesh. I wish I had taken a picture. I could have made some of you reading this faint. Ben looked at it and said to me, "You are really a banana. Yellow on the outside and white on the inside." Leave it to Ben to be cracking jokes!

Luckily, everyone who was there had their first aid kits handy. I mean, I have one in my car, but for some reason everyone brought theirs to the picnic area. One of Ben's friends' friend was a Resident and cleaned my wound and patched me up with butterfly bandages nicely. He said I didn't need to go to the hospital that I would be fine and that I could go see the doctor the next day.

I told Ben I could just go to the hospital and he could stay with the kids, but he insisted that the whole family should go. I didn't want the whole family to spend the Fourth of July in the ER and so I took comfort in knowing that I could see the doctor the next day. It didn't even hurt or give me any discomfort.

I called the doctor the first thing the next morning and no one answered. I continued to call all day and finally decided to actually go there and see if anyone was there. The door was locked and so I called the Urgent Care telephone number.

The woman who answered the phone told me to call the doctors back after 2:30 p.m. and if no one answered still, that there was an on call doctor who I could talk to after 5:00 p.m. So I called at 2:30 p.m. and no one answered. I didn't think this was an emergency now and so I waited until 5:00 to call the on call doctor.

I never got the call from the on call doctor that night.

So it is the next day and I am surprisingly emotional. I just want to talk to a doctor! I call Ben's mom, who is a nurse and ask her about it. I take pictures of it to show her what it looks like. She tells me it is too late for stitches and that it looks healthly.

I call Ben and tell him what his Mom says and start to get emotional! Why am I crying??

This wound is causing me absolutely no pain, why am I so upset?

I pull myself together and think about it. I'm upset because I am going to have yet another scar on my poor leg! Getting stitches would have helped it look better and I missed the chance to get them!

For some reason, I scar very easy. I can get scars from a mosquito bite. And for some other reason when I fall, my right leg takes the hit.

I've always liked the shape of my legs and that they are strong but ever since I was young, I remember trying to hide my leg because I was so embarrassed of how it looked. It is darker than my other one because of the amount of scars that are on it. If I were sitting down, I would put my good leg on top of my ugly one. If I were standing I would stand sideways so no one could stare at my leg.

I've actually made it worse since being an adult if you can believe that! Some of my biggest scars are from roller blading, rock climbing, and other activities like that. I could tell many stories and use my leg as a visual.

I've gotten better at no worrying about others looking at my leg as I have gotten older,but I am still self conscious about it. I will probably always be.

I'm finally over my leg and the scar that I am going to have. I'm still a little bummed, but whatever, right?

Now, I am just waiting for it to heal so I can continue my training for my triathlon. I was on such a roll: swimming, running and biking, that I can't wait to start again!

I wonder if they take pre-orders for the Resurrection. I would like to pre-order beautiful looking legs with no scars!

And while I'm at it. . .I think I'll order size B boobs!